Monday, September 3, 2007
New books i have been reading.
Lately i have been reading two books one of them is called " On Grief and Grieving" and the other one is called "Life Lessons" both of these books are co-written by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler. They are both leaders in their field of Palliative care. Its very interesting to see what these people's thoughts and values are at the end of one's life. Sometimes it is when we are closer to death do we really examine what is really important in life. Unfortunatley for most of us it is only at the end of one's life does one's perspective and view on life changes. The reason i am reading these two books is because if we can examine what is really important to those who are at the onset of death, wouldn't it be neat if we could apply these principles in the prime of our lives instead? May be in that way we can learn to be wiser and smarter and with less regrets.
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3 comments:
hi. you dont know this but im frequenting your blog and rachel's since day 1 and i was surprised about what happened with u and her. it is quite sad to watch how love started to blossom, flourish and in an instant, decided to wither and die.
im in a long distance relationship too. it is hard because of distance and time. love can be fleeting and ephemeral but commitment forges it to be strong.
maybe this time, the purpose of your relationship is to learn so that when the right person comes then you;ll be a better person. i am not an expert so i want to share this article by paolo coelho "closing a cycle"
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end.
If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?
You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.
But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back.
Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.” Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.
Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.
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i wish you all the best,
JOYJOY
thank you,, thank you for all your encouraging words.. i'm trying very slowly to pick up the pieces and to move forward but needless to say it has been a rather painful and also very shocking ordeal.. but you are right my friend... it's only when we let go are we able to move forward. Thank you for the words of encouragement
Although my long distance relationship was not successful i hope taht what happened between and Rachel does not discourage you about long distance relationships.. if it was meant to be then no matter how far or how distant two people are apart they will still be together.
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