View on Relationships

Sometimes one gages whether or not a relationship was successful based upon the duration of it.. we treat it as if every relationship was meant to last a life time. If every relationship was meant to last a lifetime then how do we really grow as an individual and identify what we really want and do not want in a life partner.

Also what we feel at the current time might not necessarily be consistent with how you will be feeling for a person let's say in a year,10 years or 25 years. Everything is in an impermanent state...there is really nothing constant about life itself. You can potentially grow together or you can grow apart.

Given that everyone is aware that the only thing constant in life is change itself dont'you think it's quite unrealistic to put such pressure on expecting each relationship that you are in to last a life time? Don't get me wrong i'm not saying to call it quits as soon as the 'honeymoon' period is over as realistically it does take alot of commitment and effort to make relationships work.
It's not like how they portray it in Hollywood where every day you will feel that you are totally in love with this person or connected with this person. Because in reality life just doesn't work that way. Being in love or falling in love is just another impermanent stage in life. It's the enduring love you have and the constant of always being there for the other party makes a relationship have a better chance in sustaining for a life time.


On another side of the coin, how does one gage whether or not to 'throw in the towel' and accept that it is time to end it? I guess it is harder when the decision is not mutual. In the majority of cases one party would choose to call it quits while the other party is left behind. How does the party that is left behind reconcile and deal with what they perceived to be an abrupt ending? I guess one answer to this is to recognize the relationship for what it was worth, what you have experienced so far and to not extrapolate what could have potentially been in the future because no one can predict the future, and because the future has not happened yet we must recognize that it would be ridiculous to grieve about what could have been because technically it was just a projection of what you had envisioned.. the future was not real.

It's great to hear of happy healthy relationships lasting a lifetime however in most cases they do not, and was never meant to be that way. By letting go of this concept that relationships are meant to last a lifetime we can then learn to accept the fact that it was the quality of the relationship rather the duration that is more important. There is no such thing as an unsuccessful relationship because throughout the duration of the period you were together you learn tremendously about eachother and yourself. The success of it is dependent on how much you mature and grow from the experience.